"As you slide down the banisters of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way."

"May your troubles be as few and as far apart as my Grandmothers teeth."

"May you get all your wishes but one, So you always have something to strive for."

"Here's to your coffin, may it be built of 100 year old oaks which I will plant tomorrow."


What do you call an Irishman who knows how to control his wife?
A bachelor

Definition of an Irish husband:
He hasn't kissed his wife for twenty years, but he will kill any man who does.

"Courtship is a time during which the girl decides whether she can do better or not."


An Irish Toast

May the frost never afflict your spuds. May the outside leaves of your cabbage always be free from worms. May the crows never pick your haystack, and may your donkey always be in foal.