Turkeys roll at Sporty’s

By Ty Hughes

Sporty’s biggest night of the year left no doubt that the popularity of their signature annual Turkey Bowling event continues to blow up.
Their 2008 Turkey Bowl drew over a hundred bowlers on Wednesday, November 26, the night before Thanksgiving. Whole turkeys flew through the air with the greatest of ease, spackling the walls, ceiling and onlookers with bits and pieces of raw meat. Yeah! The kind of fun you can’t get in your own living room!
Sporty’s owners, Joe and Jack, hosted the tournament, each posted at either end of the plastic-covered “bowling alley”. Jack called out the order of bowlers by name, making it very clear which were first-timers, referring to them as virgin bowlers, of which I was one. His list of names stretched over three pages long.
Joe coordinated the action at the throwline, kicking turkeys, gloving-up the masses and keeping scores. He goes through a pair of shoes every year, he says, as he shuffles the thawing birds around with his feet for hours.
Beautiful girls were everywhere and most had no qualms about getting right in there and chuckin’ a few turkeys of their own. Of course, the objective was to bowl over enough pins in three tries to get your choice of prizes from the ever-growing prize table covered in Wild Turkey and Pyramid swag. But, as most would admit, throwing the bird and actually getting it all the way down to the pins, let alone knock them all over was not an easy task. In fact, just getting a good grip on those suckers is tough enough. But the laughs and excitement was widespread and everyone had a blast whether bowling or just cheering on their friends.
Even the kids got to hang out and have dinner with their families up until 9pm. They thoroughly enjoyed watching the grownups huckin’ fowl before being shuttled off to bed.
After several hours of strikes, spares and highly-celebrated whiffs, the bowlers began to subside and the winners were announced. In third place it was Adam, the pin-setter-upper guy. Oh, and by the way, those pin-setter-upper guys deserve all the credit for their hard work back there setting up and re-setting up the pins all night long. Way to go Adam, and thanks for your dedication.
In 2nd place, it was Pat Howell with his most-excellent turkey throwing skills, and finally, in 1st place and Turkey Bowling Champion for 2008, it was the fabulous Greg, who didn’t stick around for the photo shoot!
Good throwing guys! Now go take a shower?¢‚Ǩ¬¶ please.
The gorgeous Wild Turkey girls showed up to spread their cheer and maybe sell a few shots along the way. Sporty’s was packed to the gills with friendly, fun-loving people from all over the area.
By the time the turkey bowling was wrapping up and the tidbits of raw turkey meat were being scraped off the walls, Jack was taking signups for the $500 Added dart tournament. Players from way back came out to join the fun. It was like a reunion with all the old, familiar faces. Good times at Sporty’s!
The night before Thanksgiving has become a real barnburner at Sporty’s Beef & Brew over the years. This is one not to miss ?¢‚Ǩ‚Äú you’ll have stories to tell for the rest of the year!