• Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
  
• Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
  
• Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
  
• Beauty lies in the hands of the beerholder.
  
• Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
  
• When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
  
• It's better to have beer in hand than gas in tank.
  
• Friends don't let friends drink Light Beer.
  
• Beer: Nature's laxative.
  
• Draft beer, not people!
  
• Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life.