My Opinion: For What It's Worth

By Johnie Nall

Last week I was invited to lunch by a vendor that is hoping to grab on to some of the money I spend daily attempting to keep the fleet rigs on the road so your cable TV stays bright, shiny and entertaining.

This guy chose a bar in the Bonney Lake area that I had never set foot in before and to be quite honest, didn’t even know existed. The quaint little joint is called Babalouie’s and actually, it was neither little or quaint – it’s huge and overwhelming.

Anyhow, I was early and the dude that was buying was late so I planted my carcass at a tall table and began to scan the menu after telling the person with the order book that I was waiting for someone.

I ordered a Diet Coke, which has become my drink for all seasons since I have been warned by a college educated doctor that alcohol and the medications I take for the many aging parts should not be ingested in the same digestive system. After I became bored with reading the menu I started paying some attention to what was going on around me.

There were probably about 10 people sitting at the bar watching a basketball game on TV, a couple of people eating some lunch and talking business over a computer spreadsheet and there were a guy and gal playing a game of Cricket on one of the new and improved dart boards that are very impressive with all the graphics and sounds.

The gal was an obvious newbie at the game and the guy was pretending to know all there was to know about the game.

I heard the gal ask the “pro” why the game they were playing was called Cricket since there was nothing on the board that came close to resembling a cricket. The “pro” explained that darts were invented in England and that was one of the favorite sayings over there so that’s where the name came from.

Now I have to fess up, I have no clue where the dart game got the name Cricket, but I think I could have bet a bejillion dollars this dude was dead wrong and won. If he was a loyal reader of my monthly column, he would have known that darts got its start when Indians were passing the time of day shooting feather tipped projectiles into the various body parts of pony express riders and pilgrims in covered wagons. They were so good at this that it became boring.

I know for a fact that they decided to make it more challenging by splitting the human receivers of these pointed barbs into sections and assigned a score to each. As time passed, these early Grand Masters threw away the bows and shortened the arrows into darts so they could carry more in their quivers and still have room for the spare feathers, heads and shafts.

Anyhow, to get back to the newbie and the “pro”, their game continued and the guy beat her several times. Not because he was that good, but because she was that bad. I wondered to myself if this guy had ever played a league game in his life or if he was only interested in being a lounge lizard and impressing young ladies with his tales of stardom.

About this time, my free meal donor came in and joined me at the table. He was very apologetic and said he hoped I hadn’t been too bored while waiting.

I informed him that I was watching the dart games in progress on the board and was somewhat enjoying the effort this dude was putting into bragging about his dart prowess and how little this lady must know about darts to continue listening to him. After about four more games, the guy had to get back to work, so he paid his tab and departed across the parking lot which led me to assume that he worked somewhere nearby since he didn’t get into a car.

The lady that was being beaten every game by this guy suddenly became a female Paul Lim. She was hitting triples, doubles, bullseyes and anything else she wanted to hit. Unable to resist, I had to ask. Why did she let this guy brag and shine like a star when she could have put him in his place anytime she wanted to. Her explanation went like this.

She said that she worked the early morning shift at WalMart and usually goes to a bar about this time of the day to practice darts. State is this coming weekend and she’s playing on three teams. If a guy like this dude comes in, she puts her darts away, picks up house darts and pretends she knows nothing about darts.

She asks the guy to explain the game and he immediately starts in with the professional attitude and teaching her all there is to know about the game. With the lessons, she gets to practice missing enough to lose but hitting enough to keep him shoving quarters in the board and after a while, buying her drinks and sharing his french fries. She knows she won’t have to put up with him long because he is a working stiff and has to go back to work.

I was truly amazed that I hadn’t picked up on this scam, but ever so thankful that the “pro” walked in before I did. Now I have to tell you, this little lady had it down to a science. She had her workday in and was not ready to go home and watch soaps. She got to practice her darts for nothing, had some free drinks, ate some free food and went home happy.

See you next month, stay safe, stay happy.