Dumb place to hang
a dart board

... And why I don’t play darts

By Dawn Mahaffey

For those of you who don’t know me, I am the person who puts together this newspaper every month. Well, people ask me all the time if I play darts, and until now, I’ve just told everyone that I used to, but no, I don’t anymore. Well, it’s time to come clean and confess as to why I gave it up.
Please rest assured that what I am about to tell you is a true story.
When I was a kid, my aunt and uncle had a steel tip dart board that was mounted on a wall at the top of the stairs on the second floor. You had to throw the darts across the stairs to the board on the opposite wall.
The very first time I threw a dart, I completely missed the board and the dart went sailing down the stairs, impaling my cousin’s big toe, successfully nailing him to the kitchen floor.
I was an adult before I ever tried throwing another dart, and then, after making many more attempts, I found that I still couldn’t hit a board with any consistency or accuracy, and when it comes to soft tip darts, if I do hit the board, the dart just bounces off and won’t stick. So, finally, I gave up trying. There are too many other things I can do without the embarrassment.
Okay, so the truth is out. Some day, I’ll tell you about the time I hit a guy in the head with the cue ball while attempting a jump shot; or the time I sunk our rubber raft by puncturing it with a treble hook trying to cast a lure.
For now, just be grateful that I don’t play darts - the world is a much safer place if I don’t.